“If I could only figure this out, I think I could find happiness.” That was the comment a close friend made during a recent conversation.
This is not the first time, nor will it be the last that I hear this statement.
Many people believe that finding happiness is based on finding something else they want. In my experience as a personal coach, no one has ever found long term happiness by achieving another goal.
Ultimately, to find happiness is to look within. In other words, happiness is an inside job.
The key to finding happiness is to understand that happiness is a choice and not the result. If happiness can be found as the result of an acquisition, meeting a goal, or having anything, then a person’s happiness will always be subject to something else.
An important and fundamental truth to remember is that one definition of happiness is simply the absence of an opposite emotion whether it is pain, sadness or something else. If the opposite emotions are never experienced then happiness can never be experienced either. Just as bad times allow you to appreciate good times, and hunger allows you to appreciate food, sadness allows you to appreciate and experience happiness.
We can also define happiness as enjoying, showing, or marked by pleasure, satisfaction or joy.
If you ask most people what happiness means you will probably hear “I’ll be happy when…”. When I get that promotion, I’ll be happy. I’ll be happy when I meet the person of my dreams. If I had one million dollars, I’d be happy.
These, and all the other “if I had” scenarios are following the same reasoning; that happiness is based on external circumstances.
If you base your happiness on external circumstances, you will continuously fail to find happiness. There will always, always be another external circumstance. There will always be another dollar, another job, another house, or another partner. Better, more, else.
To break this vicious cycle, we must find our happiness somewhere else. That somewhere else is within. We have been given everything we need to be happy.
One of the ways to allow yourself to choose happiness is to understand life is perfect. Although this subject is worthy of it’s own article, life is perfect because we create it with our choices. Since we can create life, how much better can it get?
When we can accept that life is perfect as it is and that our lives are the sum total of everything that has happened to this instant, only then can we accept the joy and happiness we deserve.
I realize that this concept is very difficult for some to accept. However, the alternative to being happy now is to spend the rest of our lives seeking happiness as if happiness was an item to be bought or found.
It’s not. Just remember the saying – Don’t worry – be happy!
Happiness is elusive but can be found. Start with the free tools available at the blog: http://www.miamiphillips.com