positive thinking Archives

You become like the five closet people to you. Is that a scary thought? Nevertheless, what does that even mean? It means your surroundings are EVERYTHING when it comes to you being a success. That is true whether you are receiving negative support or support that is positive driven.

The people that you allow into your life on a regular basis or either going to push you up or bring you down. Have you ever heard of the “Crab Theory?” It’s an interesting viewpoint that at times can be quite uneasy.

You see it is based on what can occur when a bunch of crabs are piled on top of each other inside a barrel. If one tries to escape, the others will firmly grab onto the escapee and pull him back down into the abyss with them. If the crab struggles too much, it’s actions can even lead to the others killing it.

Kind of morbid, yes, but makes a strong point. That is, some people DO NOT like change. They do not like their environment changing, and they also do not like the sight of seeing others trying to change theirs either.

Negative Support -Why Clear Your Group For Better Success

Therefore, the question becomes… are the people around you okay with you wanting a change? A change perhaps with building a business, getting physically more fit, buying a home or anything you want to do. Are they okay with it to the point of being willing to not only support you; but, actually be happy if you get what you are after?

Furthermore, the crab illustration also demonstrates the importance of being around “like-minded” individuals. Odds are if you are around successful people, you are going to be successful yourself. Why is that?

Well you are either going to learn enough from them to do better. Or, you are going to be around the right group long enough to make the connections you need in order to make your dreams happen too. It’s like an old proverb, “If you are around wise people you will become wise, if you are around unwise people you will not fare well at all.”

Now does this mean that all your friends and family members have be Fortune 500 owners in order for you to associate with them? Of course not! However, they should not be a source of negative support either. If they have your back and are being a positive influence then they are a very valuable asset to your success.

Nonetheless, if at any point you feel that any family member or friend is pulling on you like crabs in a bucket. You may want to be a little more cautious. Helpful criticism and feedback should always be appreciated; because it can help you grow. However, negative energy and constant berating or negative speech will never be a recipe for reaching any goals.

Therefore, it is important to make sure you are clearing out any negative support from your life. You don’t have to cut people off or completely ignore them. Simply protect your mindset and only allow positive thinking and helpful advice to mold and drive you forward.

Negative Support -Why Clear Your Group For Better Success (Continued)

Lastly, the crab theory also solidifies the point of not always going with the crowd. Are you going to be strong enough to handle the feeling of sticking out from the pack? Only time will tell.

Yet, it will help knowing that it is okay to do so. It’s like that familiar saying our parents tell us when we are young. They say, “If all your friends jump off a high wall or mountain, are you going to do it too?

Oh course, it sounds ludicrous to do something like that. Jump off a super high mountain just because our friends do it. It could be disastrous, even costing us our life. However, that is sadly just how some choose to live their lives. They’ll only do things if everyone else does it.

You can see this kind of peer pressure through social media. One couple takes a picture showing the wife extending her hand back to grab her hubby’s hand; and then every couple takes a picture like that. Or one person posts themselves jumping in the air to show they’re having fun and life is good. Next thing you know others are doing the same. It’s the “in” thing to do.

Just like illustratively peer pressure can cost some their lives if they jump off a “high mountain”. Peer pressure can also cost some people their dreams. Such pressure from those close to us can be so strong they cause us to give up.

Negative Support -Why Clear Your Group, Change the Game

How do these types succeed in getting us to quit? Negativity. Ever notice how some famous couples split? Enough negative comments from fans and outsiders then suddenly it’s a bad career move to stay together. Yet, the couples who stay together regardless of what people say years later find those same people rooting for them.

Huh? What changed? Well, the naysayers basically became believers. They came to see that the couple made a great choice by staying together despite negativity and they actually respect them for it. Or even if they don’t respect them they can at least acknowledge the real love and joy that the couple possesses.

The same is true of us reaching our dreams. It’s inevitable that at some point we will face negativity. Not everyone is going to be supportive and quite frankly they don’t have to be. However, it is up to us to weed out those who truly do not have our best interests at heart.

Plus, if we keep pushing forward and reach our goals; we may find that those who did not support now do. That is because they see that WE made the right choice for US. They see that WE were strong and just need to BELIEVE in ourselves. So now, THEY wish they could do the same and can at least admit that they have noticed you brought about a change. The change you wanted.

Negative Support -Final Word

The true key to it all is positivity. If we are around positive people, keep a positive mindset, and stay focused then positive outcomes can be had.

So then, how is your support group? Are they helping or pulling you down? Are they advancing you or causing you to constantly take two steps back? The answers may help you to see if you may need to clear out any negative support.

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If you were to take a poll you would find that most women are not born feeling naturally self confident and reassured of their greatness. This fact is not surprising when a serious examination of the times is taken into account. We live among a media storm of imagery and verbiage that mainly thrusts the external beauty of a woman into the forefront. Nevertheless, true confidence will only take shape if the inner person, who we are inwardly is beautiful. Confidence radiants from the inside out not vice versa.

The term “queen” seems to denote different things to different people when used to describe a woman’s demeanor. Most agree that it normally encompasses a woman that is emotionally strong, confident and oozes a certain power or Je ne sais quoi over all. She is not a push-over because she knows her worth and will not allow anyone to diminish it. If someone tries to pull some “bull” it is not tolerated and she will even speak her mind tactfully to show she does not care for the mistreatment. How can a woman transform into such a queen?

1. Let Go of the Past– This is probably one of the toughest things on this planet to do, but your mind and heart will surely thank you. Unlike in the movies there is no time machine, potion or personage that can change the past. What has happened has simply happened and we must be accepting of all former dealings. Focusing on such things as past mistakes or something not working out the way we wanted does not help to produce better vibes. In the film Baggage Claim Paula Patton’s character is told by a close friend, “Same actions, same outcomes…new actions, new outcomes.” Therefore, accept the past and learn from it so that you do things differently in the future for your betterment.

2. Tell Yourself Your Amazing– Shout it out ladies! Reciting a positive mantra daily or simply saying in your mind that you are wonderful can have a serious effect on your mindset. As the saying goes if you think it you can achieve it. If you WANT to feel great and WANT to have a better life it is possible to think yourself there.

3. Think Positively– Since we are on the subject of positive thinking you will be happy to know that psychologists even confirm that if a person thinks positively on anything it is more likely to end with a positive result. As crazy as it may seem, how we think is conducive to how things work out for us. If you have the right mindset your actions will suddenly work towards a favorable and positive outcome. So then, put the odds in your favor by remaining optimistic.

4. Speak Up– Never allow anyone to get away with saying or doing something that is wrong. However, this does not mean yelling, screaming or any sort of retaliation. Be mature about the situation and calmly say that you do not like what was said or done. Always be graceful and do not let anyone allow you to lose your cool because once you lose it that person then gains your power in the situation. They have won by getting you to act in a manner that goes against your true character. Some people live to see others upset and still others are sadly just not aware of all the problems they are causing. Nevertheless, the only way to get what you want and maintain happiness is to speak up. Speak up in all things whether its school, work, friends, family, relationships or social situations. Let yourself be heard because no great queen throughout history was ever silent.